Monday, July 13, 2009

Things I Swore I'd Never Do.

Before I was a mom, I thought I knew it all, and had very definite ideas about how I'd raise my baby. Not to mention an iron clad list of things I wouldn't do.

That was before Tori was born. But now? I don't think there's a single one of my rules that I haven't broken. Well, no, I lie. There is one. I've never shaken the baby (and never will).

As for the rest of them? Well, reality tends to win out over good intentions. So here they are. The things I swore I'd never do (but now do all the time).

Feed the Baby Formula - Yep, I was going to be a crunchy mom who breast fed exclusively. Because, you know, breast is best and anything less would rob her of IQ points, give her asthma and make her allergic to air. Oh well. Guess she'll have to live in a bubble when she grows up.

Co-sleep - Oh, the danger! I thought that if I slept with my baby, I'd roll over on her, or smother her with a pillow, or doom her to a life of crime. Yeah. That lasted all of twelve hours after we brought her home. After that, it was curl up with her on the couch or never, ever sleep again.

Let her cry it out - I swore that for first three months (at least), I'd scoop her up every time she let out a peep, answering her every need before she knew she needed it. Too bad there are days when even she doesn't  seem to know what she wants. Or needs. Except to make her total displeasure with the world known. And let's face it - sometimes a girl's gotta pee!

Give her a pacifier - I don't even know why I was so against this. But I was. Until the first of the aforementioned days when nothing would shut her up. Except a mouth full of paci. Now we have an ever rotating supply, in colors that match her outfits.

Let her watch TV - The American Academy of Pediatrics says a baby shouldn't even see the TV until she's at least two. So Tori wasn't going to. But you know what? Feeding a baby is boring. And at some point, I don't know when, she started to be attracted by the pretty colors of the television. So she's seen her fair share of Oprah. And HGTV. And Food Network shows. But hey, at least they're not soaps! Maybe she'll be a professional chef who designs interiors while providing therapy to the homeowners when she grows up.

Truthfully, that's just the beginning of the list. I'm sure it'll get longer and longer the older she gets. Because you know what I've discovered? I'm not a super mom. Not even close. But I am a decent human being. So hopefully she'll turn out okay.


  1. Very funny and very true. Before our 1st was born (12 years ago), I remember actually saying out loud "once he's old enough to understand television, it's going to be kept in our room and he'll only get to watch it under supervision." Now it's like "What are you watching down there? Is it rated R? No? OK, fine." And when you get a second one...! Still no TV or computer in their rooms though, I'm sticking to that one.

  2. Vow! I love the post. I am sure going to bookmark it as I will needing it in future :)

  3. [...] And decided to toss those childrearing books out the window. [...]

  4. I swore up and down on the pacifier thing too - it went out the window in less than two weeks. When my eldest daughter was an infant we used one of those short ribbons with a clip to the binkie to her clothing and it never got lost. Once she could pull it out and put it back in for herself, the clip was useless and binkies disappeared like mad. We were constantly buying the three packs at Wal-Mart (I think weekly). After we finally weaned her off the binkie (18 months), they started turning up like bad pennies. During a car deep clean day, we found 12, count them TWELVE under the seats of my husbands car!

    Ok - sorry this is so long, but it's really quite funny.


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