Thursday, October 1, 2009

But the Grass. It's a Different Shade of Green.

It's time for Mama Kat's Writing Workshop again. This week, I'm imagining a conversation between these two people:

B: How can you not see what I'm talking about? It's right here. In front of your face!

A: So there's a weed. So what?

B: So what? So our lawn is being taken over, that's what!

A: I don't see what the problem is. It's green. It's not crunchy when you step on it. It's doing the same job grass does.

B: Do you know how hard I've worked to get some decent grass in this yard?

A: And you've done a very good job. But Mother Nature, she has plans of her own.

B: We're going to be the laughingstock of the neighborhood!

A: (Bends down and plucks weed). There. No more weed. Feel better?

B: Argh! No! You didn't get it by the root! Now it's just going to come back and, and spread!

A: (Sighs) Fine. You can go to Lowe's and buy the $50 bag of weed killer. But if I ever see you out here with scissors trimming uneven spots, I'm going to stage an intervention.

B: But sometimes it just looks so sloppy...

A: Scissors. Equal. Intervention. End of story.

B: Fine... But don't come crying to me when the Homeowner's Association comes after us for bringing down the tenor of the neighborhood.

A: Don't worry. I won't.

Author's Note (covering ass): No, this conversation didn't actually happen. But my husband does have an unhealthy obsession with the lawn, so it could...


  1. ::snickers:: too funny - I can see that being my husband when we get a house. :)

  2. We're you spying on my husband and I this summer?

    This conversation seems a little bit too real!

    Happy Thursday!

  3. Okay, that was fantastic and went with the picture so perfectly. Loved it!

  4. It could happen. I would never use scissors on the lawn though since they make special lawn clippers for that.

    To add the dialogue.
    B. Why are you walking around the backyard wearing your expensive sexy boots? You're going to get grass stains on them?

    A. It's only grass, it's not going to stain my new boots silly. You could always re-polish them if they in fact get dirty.

    B. Well, if you are going to were nice shoes outside you should be wearing stilletos so the heals can aerate the lawn and let the water flow into our horrible red-clay soil.

    A. Yeah right, you wish. Keep dreaming that dream. Now, since it's Friday where do you want to get take-out from tonight? I'm hungry and you want a happy Amber right? Right. I thought so.

  5. LOL too funny!!

    I love the look of your blog. :)

    Thanks for stopping over to my neck of the woods! I'm totally a new follower. woohoo!

  6. too funny! I went back further and read your PMS described me! I may have to be a follower just for that! lol

  7. LOL too funny! My hubs is always walking around with a spray bottle of weed killer! Thanks for vising our blog earlier.


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