Monday, April 12, 2010

Searching for My Happy Place.

It's far too early in the morning. I'm leaning over a desk in a small, harshly lit cubicle, trying not to think about the tourniquet that's tightening on my arm.

Dots sparkle in front of my eyes, and I pull back.

"Ummm, on second thought, do you think I could lay down? I think I'm going to pass out."

The nurse nods and ushers me over to one of those pseudo-comfy recliners they keep for those of us with a tendency to pass out at the stick of a needle.

Again the tourniquet tightens, and I involuntarily let out a deep breath.

"It's alright, honey," the nurse says. "Just go to your happy place. We'll be done here before you know it."

I close my eyes and will myself to an ocean beach, the white sand warm on my burrowing toes, the breaking of the waves loud in my ears. I reach for the pina colada at my side...

and Tori's smiling face breaks into my thoughts.

I'm laying on the grass, the sun hot on my face as I squint up at her gap-tooth smile. She looms over me, trying to feed me a stick she found in the garden. Sitting up, I grab her and roll her on to her back, loudly zerberting her tummy. She squeals and grabs for my nose...

And I will myself back to that tropical beach. I'm swimming in the turquoise water, watching little blue fish dart around my toes. Securing the snorkel mask around my nose, I dive down and reach out to touch the neon yellow fish that's staring at me. My delighted giggle bubbles up around me...

when Brian's voice breaks into my reverie.

Suddenly it's dusk, and we're sitting out on the patio, my feet in his lap. We're sharing a raspberry vodka-laced lemonade while a symphony of crickets and frogs serenades us. Together we build dreams of cedar decks, cascading waterfalls and light-filled sun rooms...

And the snap of the tourniquet releasing brings me back to earth.

"There, all done, " The nurse chirps. "You sure got quiet on me—your happy place must be  pretty fantastic!"

It is. And surprisingly close at hand.

Where's your happy place?

11 comments:

  1. That was beautiful. You are an incredible writer.

    My happy place is driving down the turnpike in Fl on the way to Miami, the radio cranked, my best friend in the drivers seat... my feet on the dash board and not a care in the world.

    (besides being with my son of course)

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  2. mY happy place? It is the ocean and its waves whipping around--seagulls sounds--salty sea air, dogs running up and down the beach with their owners... Ahh.
    Nice.

    Fantastic post! I LOVE your writing!!!

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  3. It's wonderful that your happy place includes your baby and hubby. You have a truly wonderful life!

    My happy place is running through the mountains or along the beach. Just running with the wind at my back. Then coming home to a HUGE pizza dinner with my son and hubby. Hey, you have to recharge after all of that running. :-)

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  4. that was wonderfully done! I've never heard "zerberting" before--does it hurt? :-)

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  5. your happy place sounds wonderful! mine is sitting on the couch with a glass of wine with my husband and pups while ava naps on the carpet. that's what we do in the evenings - it's really the best.

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  6. Love your happy place. Mine involves a shady lane and a pond and maybe a doughnut or two!

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  7. This was beautiful, both the writing of it and the fact that it is truly close at hand.

    My happy place has always been in the Florida keys on my sister's boat drinking a mojito and reading on the upper deck.

    I go there a lot. But, only in my mind.

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  8. I hope you are in your happy place for the surgery today. You could use less surgeries per year in 2011 perhaps? Hopefully? Good luck, and speedy recovery.

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  9. Oh, so many of them, but beaches, laughter and happiness abound in all!

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  10. "We're sharing a raspberry vodka-laced lemonade while a symphony of crickets and frogs serenades us." I like the sounds of a happy place with vodka-laced lemonade.

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  11. Very well written, lady. The Hubs and I spent Sunday on the porch with a summer tea I spiked with Mike's Hard Lemonade. I suppose I should be embarrassed to admit that. That was a happy place.

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