Monday, January 4, 2010

Jealous Again.

This morning found me getting ready for work for the first time in twelve days. Twelve days might not sound like much, but it was just long enough. Just long enough to get a solid routine going with Tori. Just long enough to start to feel like a real mom again—not just a part-timer.

Just long enough to get used to not working.

So when the alarm went off this morning, I awoke with a heavy heart. For the last twelve days, it had been Tori's voice that woke me up. Granted,  it was usually far too early, but her little bababa's are always  a more pleasant sound than that annoying buzz (side note: someone should invent an alarm that you have to throw against the wall to shut off. It's what I always feel like doing to mine).

This morning, she decided to sleep in (her timing is wonderful). So  I had to wake her up. Had to try and shove oatmeal down her throat while she was still rubbing her eyes. Had to bundle her in her coat and strap her into her car seat when she was just getting ready to play (and that makes for one unhappy Tori).

It kinda sucked. Okay, it really sucked. So much so that halfway to the babysitter's house (with a still screaming Tori in the back seat), I almost turned around and went home. 

But people were depending on me to show up at the office, so I resisted the urge (that good old Midwestern work ethic, you know). Instead, I dutifully trudged to my desk, fired up the computer and logged on to twitter (ahem, after I checked my work email, of course).

And twitter? Was full of tweets from people celebrating kids going back to school and bemoaning spouses going back to work. Tweets about missed naps and temper tantrums and teething kids. Tweets from fed up moms who would probably have loved to switch places with me for a little while.

But I couldn't help but be jealous of them. Couldn't help but wish I was still at home, tapping my keyboard while Tori tried to bash the space bar in. Would have given anything to be looking at another day full of nothing special.

Does anybody have a rich (and frail) relative I could adopt? Or a winning lottery ticket they're not using? Because I'd really love to turn my high heels in for a pair of worn out sneakers.

No? Darn. Guess I'll just have to start planning that next vacation, then.

10 comments:

  1. Tonight was the big AZ millionaire raffle which I KNEW I was going to win, and thus NOT have to return to work, but still have the funds to get a daycare twice a week for sanity's sake.

    I didn't win.

    So, I'll be in your shoes (metaphorically, of course, as I wear ugly, but super comfortable granny shoes) next week as I return to the big bad world of flight-attendanting. Just think - at least you get to return to her at night!!

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  2. I did the same thing! I love my job, but also love to be with my boys. It is hard to find that perfect balance. I do have it nice with the job I have, but it is hard!

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  3. They actually do have alarms you can throw against the wall. Luckily I have late shifts so I still get woken by the kids.

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  4. i'm a sahm--sort of. i'm in grad school, and while other mothers are taking their kids to the park, the museum, etc., i have the television babysitting my babes so I can get homework/studying done. And when I graduate and go back to work (as much as i miss working) I know it's going to suck dropping them off at daycare or whatever.

    if you find that millionaire, let me know if he's got a brother...

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  5. UGH! The first week is always tough. Hang in there, it will get better. At least we have caffeine to keep us awake..:)

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  6. You're not the only one who didn't enjoy going back to work today. Granted, I don't have kids, but I could've definitely used more husband-snuggle time!

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  7. I love my job- absolutely. But I would much rather be at home with my baby girl...

    This week is even more difficult for me as I am putting Bea in daycare for the first time :(

    I would do anything to be a SAHM....maybe with #2.

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  8. In spite of my whining, I really do love my job. It's just hard to get back into the swing of things.

    Good luck, erica!

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  9. I have those lottery dreams too! Good luck going back...getting into a routine after a break is just so hard!

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  10. While I don't have any kids and I really do like my job, I completely understand the dread of going back after a stretch of time off. What I wouldn't give for that lottery ticket and unlimited time to spend with friends and loved ones!

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