Thursday, December 17, 2009

It Ain't Easy Being Green.

For the first half, heck, three quarters of my life, my motto was something like "blend in at all costs." I wanted desperately to fit in. To be a cool kid, a social butterfly...a rock star.

So I tried.

I bought the right brands of clothes. Used the right words. Drank what everybody else was drinking. Did my very best to become one of the Borg people.

I really did try.

But you know what?  It didn't work. I am none of those things. I am a square peg in a sea of round holes. A redhead in a world that prefers blondes. To put it bluntly, I am a geek (your first clue? I know what the Borg are).

So I decided to change my motto. These days, it's pretty simple: Be yourself. Or at least try.

It's remarkably freeing, that motto.

It's allowed me to start wearing the clothes I love for the first time since I was a kid. Things like swingy polka dot dresses on warm summer days. Skirts and tights instead of jeans on comfy Saturday afternoons. Mismatched socks (when forced to wear socks), because, well, why not?

It's made it possible to finally admit that, all things considered, I'd much rather stay at home and read a book than hit the bars. After all, the action between the covers of a book? Is generally much more exciting than anything that happens while crammed shoulder-to-shoulder with stinky strangers in a club.

It's even helped me accept my wallflower status. Because let's face it. Some of us aren't meant to be the life of the party. Besides, if there weren't a few of us hanging back watching the action, there would be no audience for those who need one. And then what would they do?

It's not easy being green. But it's a heck of a lot easier than trying to change your spots.

This post was written as part of this week's Writing Workshop over at Mama Kat's. The prompt I chose, in case you haven't guessed yet, is 2.) What is one of your life mottoes? There's lots of other brilliant writers taking part this (and every) week, so head on over there and check it out.


  1. Teehee... I totally understand that. That's me too only I never was that kid during school. I was one of those kids who was between the "in" crowd and the "out" crowd... I was more "tolerated" lol... Everyone knew me, but I never considered any of them my friends.

    Good Writers Workshop! Thanks for stopping by my blog!! I appreciate it, cuz I was really nervous putting that part of me out there. LOL

  2. Yes, yes, yes! I do a really good me so I don't bother trying to do anyone else. Unless, it's my husband, but that's a whole other story.

  3. Are you my twin?

    I recently posted a status on my FaceBook page that said "just gonna wear two very similiar but non-matching socks" and you would have thought I just confessed to having my sixth child or something!

    And too would much rather curl up with John Steinbeck or Cormac McCarthy and read, rather than do most anything else!

    Oh well..there are worse things than being a geek!

  4. It would drive me NUTS to have mismatched socks on! I am too OCD for that :)

    But I am all for swingy polka dot dresses!

  5. Finding the courage to be yourself is a true gift! Loved reading through your blog:)

  6. I couldn't have said it any better. I'm a wall flower too, and damn proud of it!

  7. I loved this post. I know it's all true, but I need to hear it more. Because when I live in Switzerland I feel like I need to conform. And guess what, I am nothing like the average Swiss.

    Thank you for reminding me that it is always better to be myself!

  8. I was born to stand on the sidelines. I'm okay with that.

  9. Someone said something to me the other night that stuck with me. "What other people think of you is none of your business." I kind of love that. When I was young I used to lose sleep over what other people thought of me. Nowadays, I am too busy deciding whatI think.

  10. You sound like a wonderfully fun person : ) I am glad you are happy! I love your blog layout. It is nice and crisp : ) and a tiny bit whimsical. Perfect!

  11. As someone who has been himself forever, I want to say "duh".


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