Tuesday, July 7, 2009

They Say The First Day is the Hardest...

So I'm officially a working mama. All things considered, the day went pretty well. I showed up on time (or close enough to count). Managed to be pleasant to  everyone. I even got through the day without falling asleep (quite an accomplishment, taking into account my normal nap schedule).

It was definitely tough being without Tori for that long. I did my best to get my fill of baby cuddles in before I went to work. But I ended up coming home for lunch anyway. And, of course, I scooped her up the minute I got home — even though she was trying to take a nap.

I don't think she missed me. But I sure did miss her.

I'm sure you're all wondering the same things, so why don't I just go ahead and answer your questions?

Did you cry?

No. But only because I purposely put mascara on both my top and bottom lashes. Once I'm mascara-ed up, I hate to cry, because then I end up with nasty raccoon face. However, I did cry myself to sleep last night (big, gulping sobs).

Does it feel good to be back?

Well, it sure feels good to know I've got a paycheck coming! It's also nice to be among friends. They decorated my desk, which made me smile. But I'd be lying if I said that work was where I really wanted to be.

Did you get anything done?

Honestly? No. But tomorrow's another day and all that.

How did your husband do home alone with the baby?

Amazingly well. They got off to a rocky start — she started sobbing seconds after I handed her off to Brian and wouldn't calm down until I took her back, but after that, it was smooth sailing (or so he says). Being the selfish person I am, I almost wish the day was a little rougher on him (so I feel needed and all that).

So the worst is over, right? From here on out, it should get easier, or so they tell me. Even if it doesn't, I'm guessing the guilt will at least get easier to live with. Dare to dream...

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