We're twelve hours or so into 2009, and as I sit here curled up on my couch, kitty purring at my side—with life continuing as usual, in other words—I'm struck by the feeling that things are changing faster than I can comprehend. And I only hope I'm up to the challenges that this year will bring.
This time next year, I'll be a mom. And quiet little moments like the one I'm currently enjoying, will, I'm guessing, be a thing of the past. But that's only a guess. Because truthfully? I have no idea what we're in for. I'm sure I won't be the same person, but who will I be? I know my marriage will change, but how, exactly? The questions, if I let myself think about them too long, overwhelm me...and that little nugget of fear that lives deep in my belly blossoms into something more.
So better to think about the positives. To wonder what her laugh will sound like. To anticipate the look of love on Brian's face when he holds her. To imagine introducing her to her grandma and grandpa for the first time.
To think about all the things she has to discover, like...
the brilliant yellow of the first daffodils in the spring.
the way a cat's body vibrates when it purrs.
the feel of the warm sunshine on her face.
the crunch of the leaves under her feet in the fall.
the sparkle of Christmas lights glowing in the snow.
the sheer joy of living, loving and being loved.
When I think about things like that, I know that no matter what happens, it will all be worth it. That there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here, right now, waiting for our little girl to arrive. And that 2009 will indeed be a very good year.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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