They Say The First Day is the Hardest...

So I'm officially a working mama. All things considered, the day went pretty well. I showed up on time (or close enough to count). Managed to be pleasant to  everyone. I even got through the day without falling asleep (quite an accomplishment, taking into account my normal nap schedule).

It was definitely tough being without Tori for that long. I did my best to get my fill of baby cuddles in before I went to work. But I ended up coming home for lunch anyway. And, of course, I scooped her up the minute I got home — even though she was trying to take a nap.

I don't think she missed me. But I sure did miss her.

I'm sure you're all wondering the same things, so why don't I just go ahead and answer your questions?

Did you cry?

No. But only because I purposely put mascara on both my top and bottom lashes. Once I'm mascara-ed up, I hate to cry, because then I end up with nasty raccoon face. However, I did cry myself to sleep last night (big, gulping sobs).

Does it feel good to be back?

Well, it sure feels good to know I've got a paycheck coming! It's also nice to be among friends. They decorated my desk, which made me smile. But I'd be lying if I said that work was where I really wanted to be.

Did you get anything done?

Honestly? No. But tomorrow's another day and all that.

How did your husband do home alone with the baby?

Amazingly well. They got off to a rocky start — she started sobbing seconds after I handed her off to Brian and wouldn't calm down until I took her back, but after that, it was smooth sailing (or so he says). Being the selfish person I am, I almost wish the day was a little rougher on him (so I feel needed and all that).

So the worst is over, right? From here on out, it should get easier, or so they tell me. Even if it doesn't, I'm guessing the guilt will at least get easier to live with. Dare to dream...

She Works Hard for the Money.

Tomorrow, after thirteen long (and yet incredibly short) weeks, I've got to go back to work. There have been a lot of changes while I've been gone, so it kinda feels like the first day of school.

You remember. You're excited to see all your friends, but a little bit nervous about what the new year will bring. You hope it'll be fun, but you know there's a lot of hard work ahead of you. And, of course, you're sad to see the summer (or in my case, my maternity leave) end.

I'm glad I have a job I actually enjoy. I can't imagine how much more it would suck to leave my baby if I was looking forward to nothing but joyless toil. As it is, I'm not exactly excited about the idea of being away from her for eight, nine, maybe even twelve hours a day (at least, not today. she's been good today).

But I don't want to live in a box (it'd be awfully crowded. and damp. and cold.), so it's back to work I go.

Thankfully, my hubby will be taking my place here at home for the next month or so. Which means I don't have to deal with the double whammy of heading back to the office and dropping her off at daycare all at once.

It's good to do things in stages.

He insists he'll be a much better stay at home dad than I was a stay at home mom. He says the house will sparkle, meals will be served on time, and the baby will be happier than ever before.

He even thinks he'll have time to finish some household projects while he's off.

I wish him luck with that.

Now if you guys could wish me some of the same, I'd appreciate it. I'm afraid tomorrow's going to be a pretty rough day.

Blogs I Love.

I'm feeling all grumpy and growly and generally nasty (i.e. not really in the mood to be funny) today. Now usually, I'd  go ahead and whine at y'all, but just to be different, I thought I'd send you to some people who might actually make you laugh.

Just don't forget to come back. There aren't that many of you, so if one of you leaves me for good, I'll know it (and I'll cry real tears).

So, in no particular order, here are some of my favorite bloggers.

dooce - Unless you've been sleeping under a rock somewhere, you're probably well aware of Ms. Armstrong's amazingly funny blog (I want to be her when I grow up). If you haven't already checked it out, do yourself a favor and head over there.

Jennsylvania - Her books are good, snarky fun and her blog is more of the same. Love. Her.

Scary Mommy - Lots of different kinds of posts and definitely a good read.

Suburban Turmoil - One of my latest finds, and one I'm really learning to love.

Mom-101 - More good fun from an urban mom who's been in the trenches for a little while.

Mommy Wants Vodka - Another recent find that's worth reading for the title alone. And no, you're not imagining it, she uses the same Wordpress theme as I do.

There. That should keep you busy for a while. Now I'm going to go hide under the covers and hope the Baby Monster Monitor doesn't go off for a good long while.

File Under: Wish This Was Mine.

Although some may scoff at the idea, I believe advertising, when done well, is a form of art. Sure, we get paid to create it, but the creatives I've known (at least, those who deserve the title) put everything they've got into their work.

Doesn't matter what the product is. Doesn't matter if the client expects it. We put forth our best efforts, because, well, the part of us that's artistic demands it. That might sound pompous, but it's true.

During the concepting phase of a new campaign, there's always one idea that everyone falls in love with. One that's just a little bit unexpected, maybe even crazy. We call those our wild cards.

Most of the time, those ideas never see the light of day. But when they do? They can be truly inspiring. Kinda like this TV spot for the Washington Lottery.



I heart this commercial. Whenever I'm having a bad day at work, I make myself watch it. As a reminder, you know? Of what can be when you dream hard enough.

Baby's First (and Maybe Last) Professional Photos.

Tori's three months old today. A whole quarter year! To document this  (maybe not so) momentous occasion, I took her to the mall to get her first "professional" pictures.

That was a mistake.

She woke up crabby. So crabby that I almost didn't go at all. But I'd already rescheduled three times, so I ignored her whining, got her scrubbed up, dressed up and in the car.

When we arrived, she was sound asleep, so I had to wake her up. Never a good idea. She woke up screaming, but by the time the so-called photographer was ready for us (20 minutes later), she was outwardly calm.

That lasted until the first flash bulb went off. The next 45 minutes consisted of me putting her into poses, pulling down her dress, trying to get her to stop crying, then attempting  (completely unsuccessfully) to coax a smile out of her.

It was not fun. But in the end, we did get a few cute pictures.

The closest we got to a smile...

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Sitting pretty (yes, I forgot her socks)...

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Close up (ignore the paper in her hair)...

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This one's a candid of me trying to get her calm...

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And I'm including this one just 'cause her dress is cute...

And that was that. I could go on and tell you what a rip off the packages were, or how I wanted to wrestle the woman out from behind the camera and do it myself, but that would make me sound bitchy. So I won't.

Suffice it to say, we're thinking of getting our own backdrop so we can take her six month pics right here at home.

Reasons I Drink.

I know many new moms aspire to be awesomely virtuous creatures who never let a drop of alcohol pass their lips. To those women, all I can say is, good for you. Now excuse me while I pour a drink.

I have no such aspirations. I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but at the end of a very long day (like this one), I feel entitled to a nice cold glass of...something. Today it's a glass of lemonade with a generous slug of raspberry vodka (and man is it yummy).

Why is the occasional alcoholic beverage necessary in the blissful life of a new mommy, you ask? Here, in no particular order, are the top motivators.

The Never Ending Scream - Generally speaking, Tori is a very sunny baby. But there are days when it seems like the screaming never stops. It might start with a poopy diaper or a bottle that's overly slow in arriving, but from there? It's anybody's guess. Maybe she's upset about the hole in the ozone layer, I don't know. But those ear piercing shrieks echo in my head for hours after they stop. Bottoms up!

Sleep? What Sleep? - It's 11 p.m. The baby alarm is due to go off in five short hours. I'm exhausted, but my shoulders are so tight they're around my ears and my mind is spinning, spinning, spinning. I can't take a Tylenol PM because, well, I can't sleep that long. Sometimes a nice, calming glass of wine is in order.

The Celebratory Drink - Congrats, self. You made it to six weeks. Two months. Through the first vaccinations. Through the day. You deserve, well you deserve a vacation, but you're not getting one, so how about a pina colada?

Oh, the Guilt - Can't stay home with the baby. Can't hire a nanny. Won't ever be able to afford to buy her a pony. Accidentally clipped her finger with the the nail scissors. Am I a terrible person? A horrible mom? Just human? Hand me that bottle.

Did I Mention the Screaming? 'Nuff said.

So, next time you go visit a new (or not so new) mom, bring her a gift she'll really appreciate. A nice bottle of something alcoholic.

A Babyproofed Marriage?

In the weeks leading up to Tori's birth, I repeatedly apologized to my husband. Not for anything I had done, but for what I anticipated I might do after she was born.

Everybody told me that the first three months were going to be hell. That we'd fight.  That I'd resent the heck out of him - maybe even hate him a little. And that, ultimately, the baby would damage our marriage.

Well, I hate to sound like a broken record, but they were dead wrong. I mean, sure, the first few weeks were rough. Thanks to those lovely postpartum hormones, I was pretty much a raging maniac - crying one minute, laughing the next, then seething for no good reason before dissolving into tears again.

But I don't think we ever screamed at each other. Not even once. We've already taken a trip to hell together - and we got good and lost. By the time we found our way out, we had become a rock solid team.

So, a baby? Piece of cake. Well, okay, not really, but she certainly hasn't come between us. If anything, she's brought us closer together (at least I'd like to think so).

On those days when she screams bloody murder until I want to holler myself, it's Brian that talks me down.

When I'm whimpering with exhaustion in the middle of the night, he's there to take over.

And when I'm giddy with joy over some silly thing she's done? It's him I want to share the moment with.

He's a wonderful father, and our baby girl has him wrapped around her little finger. Seeing them together makes my insides turn to goo. I don't know if our marriage is babyproofed, but I am sure that I love him just as much (maybe even more) than I ever did.

And together? We're raising one special little girl.